The enemy beneath you

Shoes, these are first in the category of things you learn as you go, apparently some crazed asshole decided to try and blow up a plane with a set of explosives he had in his shoes, he was smartly dubbed the “Shoe Bomber” and made everyone else’s life a living hell by forcing the Transportation Authority to require all passengers remove their shoes and enter them through the X-RAY system, thus allowing them to be inspected for explosive devices. The major downfall of this decision is that the line gets noticeably rank when you reach the last yard or so, it might be your feet you smell, but it very well could be the feet of the large un-deodorized/showered passenger in front of you. Hold your breath and pray you don’t fall unconscious which will hold up the large line behind you, people don’t like that. So that you do not become the one known as “The Odor” I would highly recommend that you use deodorizers in your shoes, or at least wash them once in a while.

Smell isn’t the only problem; shoelaces are just as big of an enemy. Let me ask you this, how long does it take to bend down and un-tie your shoes to take them off and present them for the X-RAY machine? Probably not very long, but that entire time you are doing this your ass is in another passengers face. This is not fun nor is it welcome. So the conundrum stands how do you manage to either keep your ass out of someone’s face? Or at least knock down the amount of time it is within someone’s personal space? Easy, wear any form of footwear that you can slip on and off with ease, do the two foot hustle and slip off each shoe using the other foot, flip flops are nice they can pretty much be stepped out of. This will ensure all you have to do is bend over or kneel down with a quick swoop to pick them up, and when you put them on, toss them on the floor and slip into them without having to bend over pushing your cushy seat into someone else’s zone.

Here’s one last quick note on shoes, remove them before you need to, it’s good practice to start removing your shoes about 10 feet before you get to the part of the line where it suddenly becomes a requirement. This allows you to be ahead of the game and surprisingly people will either start to follow your lead speeding up the process or they will question you as if you’re crazy and after you have explained it to them, they will see the light and understand that it is a good idea. This is only not a good idea if one of the people following your lead falls into the category of smell, the unpleasant part of the line will start earlier than expected.